Toddler Trash Talk February 1, 2007

       Potty mouths start young.   

 WHAT DID YOU SAY?

“I’m a good boy, Mommy.  I follow erections all the time.   Brady no follow erections like me.”

It took me a minute.  Directions.  Yes, he does follow directions well.  “Following erections” – I guess most men do? 

 *********

Harper training Murphy dog

“Come here, Murphy.  Come here and lay down.  Come here Murphy, you be my bitch.”

YIKES!  It took several attempts for him to get Murphy to behave like he wanted.  I heard “be my bitch” too many times.  Then, I looked down and he’s trying to sit on Murphy dog – he wants Murphy to lay still and be a bench.  Whew! 

*********

While snuggling Mom…

“Mommy, I fuck my fumb all the dayses?”  …a bit muffled.

“What did you say?”

Louder now, but still unclear “Mommy, I fuck my fumb all the dayses, all the timeses?” His hands are in his face, his thumb in his mouth.

I can’t catch my breath now.  One more time, Harper, and get your hands down so I can hear you. 

“I suck my thumb, Mommy?  Sissy say I have to stop sucking my thumb.”

“Oh, oh yes baby – you go right ahead and suck your thumb.  Sissy’s not in charge.” 

Anger Management January 30, 2007

Keely is my 8 year old and she has anger issues.  It’s something we continually must work on.  It’s not that she doesn’t have a right to be mad sometimes – it’s how she handles it.  Either harsh ugly words, total disrespect and rudeness, and/or physical reactions emerge.   The sibling fights between she and her 12 year old sister are intense.  Keely totally discredits herself when she lets the issue at hand get to her and cause in her, an inappropriate reaction.  Having to consistently and constantly re-direct her behavior wears me out!  I try to help her realize her choices and respond, not react.  This weekend, I was incredibly frustrated with her and trying to prepare for a family event at the same time.  I didn’t have the time or the energy to have a 1 on 1 anger management session with her.  For a momentary solution, I asked her to go calm down by herself for a few moments and then to write about anger. 

Here is what she had to say: 

Anger

Anger makes me feel mad.  

 And anger makes me loose my tempure.

And I get fusterrated and I loose control and hit peaple. 

 I also yell at them. 

 But I need to stop doing that and use my words.  And stop that nonsence. 

Anger is not good for me. 

 I need to start bing sweet and keep my tempure. 

 It’s not good for me. 

So this is the last thing I need to say is stop use your anger aginst people and your self.  

Keep your tempure!

Sorry Mom and Dad.

Love Keely 

******************

Very simplistic, yet very, very true.  It makes me wonder how many grown adults could benefit from having to think about their anger.  Maybe if they thoughtfully encouraged themselves, as Keely has, to keep their tempers, they could create a pause in which to examine the anger before they moved on. Imagine how different the world would be if everyone heeded that advice.  The innocent knowledge of a child can be quite powerful and can put us all in our place. 

Keely was also asked to think of ways she could respond and manage her anger instead of acting out against others with ugly words and gestures.  This is what she came up with:

1. Walk away

2. Use your words

3. Inore the person

4. Pray for your life if your with Mar

*************

Okay, it was fairly helpful until the end (Mar is her big sister).  I personally feel like it was relatively insightful for an 8 year old and at least demonstrates she has a pretty good understanding of the issue. 

And her last statement…well, at least she acknowledges her weaknesses and what pushes her buttons.  We could all benefit from doing this for ourselves from time to time. 

These time-out writings of my 2nd grade daughter gave me plenty to think about.  I’m sure that many of us could use the opportunity to think about such things more often. 

Thank you Keely, for your honesty, your openness, and your willingness (most of the time) to work on these issues! 

Try This: Kids in the Kitchen Chicken Tenders January 25, 2007

This is an easy, but yummy recipe my kids enjoy helping with.  Okay, my kids pretty much enjoy “helping” with anything in the kitchen, but this one is fun and tasty. 

                                                  

 The inspiration for this recipe comes from Planet Hollywood of all places.  I was told by the waitress there that Demi Moore dreamed up the chicken tenders recipe in order to get her kids to eat more foods or good foods or something like that.  She told us the secret ingredients in the breading were Captain Crunch and Frosted Flakes cereals.  My kiddos, however, didn’t like the ones at the Planet Hollywood.  They found them just a little too sweet.  (I know, I wasn’t sure there could be such a thing as too sweet for kids, but maybe it’s that mixing of flavors). 

So here’s the combo we came up with instead for the breading:

Equal parts of:

Captain Crunch (generic works just fine)

Frosted Flakes (ditto)

Pepperidge Farm herb seasoned stuffing (I would buy name brand here) or plain or seasoned bread crumbs

and  (optional) Grated Parmesan Cheese, straight out of the shaker 

A cup of each of these will do at least 4 pounds of chicken.  The key is to crush or chop the heck out of them.  We use a chopper sometimes (it’s a Pampered Chef), or a heavy duty meat tenderizer, or a rolling pin.  The chopping and then measuring of equal parts is great fun for the kids.  I can put 3 kids on chopping duty and the other on measuring duty and everyone is busy and out of trouble for the moment.  Mix it together well and place in a shallow dish for easy dipping.

I cut my boneless, skinless chicken breasts into strips while still mostly frozen.  A good knife will go right through them.  If the kids want nuggets, I just cut the strips into pieces after cooking.  I also sometimes just bread the whole breast and cut either strips or nuggets after cooking.  Saves precious time.  You can, of course, buy prepared nuggets or tenders, but the breasts are always cheaper.  We find them for $1.99/pound on sale and stock up. 

Beat a couple of eggs for the batter (a wonderful kid job, with assistance as needed) Meanwhile, melt a stick of butter.  I always bake these on a stone (I know, Pampered Chef), but you will, of course, use whatever pan you have.  Cover the bottom of your pan of choice with a little of your melted butter. 

Now, dip the chicken into the egg batter, then roll in the crumbs to generously coat.  Bigger kids can help here, and my girls love it.  You’ll just need to supervise the handwashing later! 

Fill your pan full of chicken, they need to be touching but not overlapping.  When your pan is full, drizzle more of the melted butter across the top and sprinkle, then press more of the breading over the top as well. 

375 degrees for about 1/2 hour, depending on the thickness of your chicken.  They taste fried – but they come from the oven!  Yummy!  You may want to turn the heat up to 425 or so, or even to broil for a few minutes at the end for extra crispiness. 

Kids can eat as usual with dipping sauces.  For adults, they are wonderful atop a salad or a bed of alfredo noodles, or as a hearty sandwich with some red sauce. 

Hope that gives you some ideas to work with

“Sorry, Mommy” January 24, 2007

What a week.  He’s done it again!  Last week, Brady gave me some fascinating subject matter for a post called “Purple.”  Perhaps, for consistency, I should have called today’s post “Black.”  Actually, I’ve had a small bit of entertainment coming up with names for today’s post.  Might as well have something to laugh about.  The eternal optimist in me came through quite quickly and at least thought to get the camera.  The good news:  This might make good blog stuff or at least, a funny memory.

                                               

Subtitle:  “Why we don’t have nice things” or “Why there won’t be a 5th Houk child” 

So you’ve had a Bad Day? 

In just one short week, I’ve had some sort of flu-like illness and spent a great deal of time in bed.  During that time, Brady has painted the family room including couch, carpet, cocktail table, toys, and dog – Purple.  That was permanent paint.  Then, over the weekend, he went into his sisters’ newly decorated pad that we call “Girls Place” and redecorated a nightstand, carpet, and some of their articles of clothing with Crayola paint.  That paint, thankfully, was washable.  And, today.  Ahhh, today.  Apparently our young artist is experimenting with various mediums.  That substance decorating him and once again, the family room, is….permanent INK! 

You can almost just see how creative he is from the photo.  That would be the dog’s cage that he used as his artist pallet.  Into that pooling of ink, he has deposited the following:

a seamstress style tape measure  

a used 35 mm roll of film

one AA battery

one broken Pirate’s sword toy

one Goofy as a pirate toy figure

and a brand new, but opened, toothbrush

I don’t know what he was creating, but man, was it going to be good.  He was truly thrilled with himself.  He came and got me, just as he is in the photo, to show me his masterpiece.  He had the tape measure around his neck, just as if he were doing some routine alterations. 

I screamed!  I did this for a variety of reasons.  One, he was leaving prints on everything he touched.  Second, he really scared me – I hardly recognized him.  Third, how much of this can one family take in a week?  I’m seriously considering putting him in the dog’s cage. 

The ink and many of the above mentioned items were again stolen from the study.  We are cleaning out the study (slow, slow process) and there are boxes of assorted wonders around.  It’s taken me awhile, but I am now realizing that’s exactly what those crates are to  him:  creative wonders ready for the taking.  The ink is a permanent refill for a business stamp pad.  The only good news here is that it is kind of slow drying and that is isn’t permanent until it dries.  I had a small window of opportunity. 

Knowing I had to move fast and still screaming, I let him lead me to the scene of the crime, where I screamed some more.  Then I yelled at him directly.  

“Sorry, Mommy”  Big, big tears.  He looked so sad, so deflated.  He even looked confused.  How did he get so cute?  This isn’t fair!

“Brady, you can just keep being sorry!  WE DON’T PLAY WITH PAINT!  I mean, we aren’t supposed to play with paint, or markers, or ink.”  Ugh! – I’m not making any sense, how could a 3 year old understand me?  Now he’s really crying and he was so just so pleased with his work.  Great, he’s ruined the family room for the second time and now he’s the one with hurt feelings. 

Deep, deep breath.  Guess what?  Guess who was watching him this time?  Oh yes, Mrs. Eat-My- Own- Words- About- Watching -the -Toddler Houk.  And, let’s just make it worse.  Brady was talking to me from the other room while he was in the midst of “creating” or re-decorating, as we now call it. 

“Mommy, where’s Daddy?” 

“He’s upstairs, Brady.  Mommy’s got to work on the computer. You play, okay.” 

“Okay, Mommy.  Where’s Daddy? He coming back down?” 

“He’ll be down in a minute, Brady, please let Mommy finish.  Do you need something?” 

“No, I no need thing, Mommy.”

Sneaky little devil.  The above conversation is code for:  How long do I have before an adult, any adult, You or Dad, comes in here to stop me? 

No need – he apparently had plenty of time to finish as he was already showing of his handiwork. 

There’s currently no time to choke on my foot, as hubby is headed out the door to a job interview.  Mission one:  Confine toddler to keep Dad clean.  Steve picks up his folder, loaded with the reference sheets I was typing for him while Brady got artistic.  We yell a good luck, as he can’t even get close enough to kiss either of us. 

Decon begins.  I hold Brady’s hand to go upstairs.  Dummy – I should have held both hands.  Handprint now on bannister and on wall.  Mental note, clean that too.  I put him into the tub – clothes and all.  The shirt goes straight into the trash.  I cannot waste valuable energy on cleaning a t-shirt.  I put him under the faucet before I even attempt to run water.  A blackish purple run-off is now pooling at his feet.  He’s giggling hysterically.  He’s recovered from my stern rambling and is now having a blast.  I soap him up 3 times before it’s safe to actually catch the water and fill up the tub.  My plan now is to put baby wash in the water so that while he soaks and plays, the bottom layers of black ink start fading.  Baby wash bottle – empty.  No baby wash or adult wash or shower gel to be found.  Quick trip to the girls’ bathroom.  I’ll have to confess later, but the Mandarin Kiwi shower gel from a Christmas present is now in Mom’s tub.  The whole bottle – it was only 4 ounces! 

Now the baby is headed toward clean.  I must face the family room.  But the baby’s got to stay in the tub.  “Never leave a child under 5 unattended in the tub.”  Parent safety rule number something that I am forced to now remember.  I glance down at Murphy dog and seriously contemplate asking him to watch the baby.  Okay, reality breaks through – What the Hell am I thinking? 

“Brady, I need you to keep talking to Mommy, okay?” 

He looks confused. 

“Mommy’s got to go downstairs and clean up.  Will you talk to Mommy so I can still hear you down there?” 

“Okay, Mommy.” 

I race downstairs and find some glass and surface cleaner.  I will work on the fingerprints on the wall areas first, as the couch is already trashed x2.  Here’s a good shot of the handprints. 

                                 

And, yes, there is a God (I did already know that, but you need reinforcers on a day like today), those handprints did come off.  I thank both God and eggshell finish paint, which claims to wash up well.  I’m a believer!  This ink was so think that when I sprayed the cleaner on, the spray that ricocheted back of the wall was black, and left subsequent stains where it fell.  I caught on quick and just wet the rag. 

During this whole time, Brady is doing a version of what I instructed.  Instead of continuing to talk to me, he’s opted for just yelling “Moooooommmmyyyyyy” over and over.  Irritating, yes, but no chance of drowning. 

Now, I move to the top of the dog crate area.  Out of Brady’s treasures, I only saved the roll of film.  I’m going to take it to my handy Walgreen’s and see if they think the ink went inside.  It was so deep on the top of the crate that it was still wet and pooling, and funneling down through the air vents in the top.  Okay, dog bedding now thrown away.  I used newspapers to soak up most of the wet ink and then cleaned the top, briefly.  It’s a dog crate, after all, and I certainly have more important worries. 

I go to check the Bradster quickly.  I convince him to let me turn on the jets (it’s scary) long enough to get some bubbles going.  That last layer of black is pretty persistent.  We turn on the jets and I make him put arms/legs in there for the force of the water.  Now, he’s loving it.  We are riding the rapids.  I wipe off all the black residue from the drops around the top of the tub.  I look down, my clothes are ruined.  Given, they were lounging clothes – yoga pants and a t-shirt, but gees, enough.  I can’ t leave the bubbles going, as I won’t be able to hear him.  Bubbles off.  I find a toy football and floatie duckie in the floor.  That, with the one lego, the cup, and every kid’s favorite (and safe) toy, the cuticle stick, has made Brady happy.  He’s now playing rocket ship. Not yelling Mommy, but still chatting.  I run back down quick. 

On to the couch.  My luck has run out.  Ink soaks in quickly.  All I get when I try to clean it is a dirty cloth and more drippy, black water running off.  Forget it!  I said I didn’t like that couch last week and now I HATE IT!  We will be forced into slipcovers or new furntiture very soon. 

I’m thinking we might want to wait until Brady turns at least 4. 

Disney Done Right #2 January 19, 2007

Our 2nd Disney Trip of 2006

My most important tip is:  Aside from surprises (more to follow on that in subsequent DDR Tips), INVOLVE THE WHOLE FAMILY in planning your vacation. If it’s going to be the trip of a lifetime, make everyone have a part in achieving that.  It’s your first step to using this valuable time to draw your family closer.  The Disney on a Dime book has fabulous ideas for this, many of which we used with our own spin. 

First, we started a change jar.  Even my youngest at 2 could assist with this.  We put Mickey and Minnie stickers on it and ALL extra change at the end of the day – pockets, purses, couches, floors, wallets – went in this jar.  Then, the use of the jar expanded.  We all made sacrifices for the trip.  Anytime we gave up something, we invested the amount saved into the jar.   

Haircuts were a huge savings success.  The girls and I gave up Salon cuts and color in favor of the cheaper, walk-in chains.  We used the Great Clips down the road and are still very happy there today.  An adult cut is $11, a kids is $9.  Plus, we’ve found a coupon book in town with coupons for $5.99.  We’ve asked all our friends who won’t use that coupon themselves to save it for us.  Don’t add shampoo ($2), walk out with your hair wet and save styling costs.  I purchased a home hi-lighting kit and found it remarkably easy to use for $9.99.  The hairstylist even complimented me!  With tip and home-color, our total was around $35.  Our usual amount previously for both girls (ages 8,12) and myself with minimal highlights was about  $120.  Savings (cha-ching):  $85, which we put into the jar.   

If we returned something at the store and got money back, we put it into the jar, as we had already subtracted the cost out of checking, so we weren’t really missing it.  We pledged to only eat out for dirt-cheap specials or kids eat free deals.  That will be a whole other entry to tell you my tips there!  That jar gained $300 in a week!  WOW!  It also helped our family see how wasteful we could be with money.  If we could come up with $300 that quick – what in the heck had we been doing with it all?   

We hosted 2 family Garage Sales, earning around $500-$600 total with very minimal effort.  If we had invested more time in cleaning out, I would say we could have exceeded $1000.  Our nice 3-car garage has really become a walk-in storage unit.  We plan on doing the sale each year to try and stay ahead of the junk pile-up.   

I have a little side business as a Pampered Chef Consultant.  I hosted a big sale and my family all pitched in to help – taking orders, publicizing, packing orders, delivering, etc.  We made a quick $500 in one month this way.  If you are ever interested in the PC opportunity, it’s been good to me and a nice way to throw down some extra cash when needed.  Please email me and I’ll point you to some more information.  J   

Okay, all that plus some extra shifts at work when offered, paid for our trip.  My daughter donated her babysitting money.  The girls both voluntarily gave up any portion of allowance they didn’t need for routine survival.  The great thing is we pre-paid prior to the vacation.  We purchased a meal plan and, therefore, even had food paid for a month before departure.  My bill upon leaving Disney was less than $200 for a 7 night stay, which was mostly pre-saved money my kids each had for souvenirs! 

Even just talking about it gets us all excited.  I suggest you have some discussion about family goals for vacationing together and for budgeting.  Kids are so much more appreciative when they see the work behind it all.  It means more to them when they also experience the sacrifice.  Have fun getting started and best of luck! 

Purple January 18, 2007

Purple.  It’s my all-time favorite color.  I like all shades.  My early 90’s bridesmaids dresses were a lovely tint of purple bridal satin.  And I do mean lovely, with the big, poufy hair and the dyed-to-match satin shoes and the whole entourage.  I’ve done a daughter’s room in purple, dressed in purple, themed parties in purple,etc.  I just like it.   

Today, I’m not liking it so much. 

It took a special situation today to make me recognize how many things don’t look so good in purple.  For instance, the sofa, or the carpet.  How about the cocktail table in the family room?  Given that only half of it is purple, it’s hard to truly imagine it that way, but I’m not enjoying the half that is.  Or how about clothing?  Adorable Baby Gap jammies – the little union suit variety.  “Long johns” we call them here in the South.  Maybe a different color would work, but these red and white striped ones look lousy with purple blobs.  Toys – they don’t look nice with purple, but I don’t care so much about them.  They’ve proven dispensable over the past 12 years anyway.  My favorite, though —  the dog.  Murphy, an adorable shitzu mix dog of the brown and white furry variety – he looks lousy purple.  He knows it.  He’s been bathing himself like a cat all day to try and get it off.  I’m glad we’ve not wasted our money on new carpet and furniture yet.   

Today, I HATE purple.  I would take all the purple out of this house if I could.  I’d start with the carpet.  It will grow out of the dog’s fur and I can slipcover the couch.  I think I can even sand it out of the table and re-finish or paint it.  But I’m stuck with the carpet until we tear it up.  Purple blobs – YUCK!   And who do we blame for this incident?  Of course, my angelic 3 year old, known as Brady Boo is the culprit that actually executed the crime.  But who do I really blame?  How about that sweet little 6’4” hubby of mine who was in charge?  Somehow, he not only allowed Brady to sneak into my craft box in the study, but to also sneak back out and go unsupervised long enough to “paint the town” purple, which I’m sure is how excited Brady was about it!  And it’s a nice rich, dark puple at that.  It had to be a grand moment for him.  Parent in the other room.  Didn’t see me.  TV on (great distraction).  He thinks I’m watching Curious George and Clifford.  Then, unlimited re-decorating potential without some spoil sport worrying about the mess.  I’m sure he was in heaven.   

Oh, he got a strong talking-to.  I’m sure it had tremendous impact on him.  This is what I awakened to after my 3 hours of sleep today.  Then hubby, Steve, got a strong talking-to himself about toddlers and supervision.   But why rant and rave?  The damage is already done, striking as it may be.  It wasn’t even worth the energy.  I really just wanted some more sleep.  This wasn’t a good way to start my day off.  My calmness?  Either exhaustion or my medication is just working like it’s supposed to.  So, I simmer down and move on.  

I never liked that couch anyway.