My blog stats and my recent posts reflect the chaos of my life. I’m just getting little blibs in between the life treadmill I seem to be on. But it is happy chaos, the chaos of positive change, of better times, of getting rid of the Funk!
For those of you that read or have read regularly, you know about my recent depression, termed by some of my loyal readers as “the Funk.” You’ve encouraged me, joined me, commiserated with me, and rejoiced with me as I’ve gone through these recent months of de-funking. (Note: you must be very careful when typing that word many times 
I am now proud to say that FUNK is out the door and we are now moving and grooving and getting our own new Funk on as we adjust to job and schedule changes. It’s fast. It’s furious. And we Houks are rising to the challenge. When I can sit down to think and type more at the same time, I’ll share the color-coded schedule, the flexible Houkhouse helper we’ve hired, and the crazy way we’ve managed Steve’s new 1.5 hour commute or Out of Town (whichever you choose to call it) training schedule for his new job along with my nightshift work. Add to that about 4 Pampered Chef shows, some Stampin up workshops, upcoming Medieval Day and volunteering at school, teaching some community classes, transporting for cheerleading clinic/try-outs, upcoming May Fest, on-call at the birthing center, plus everyday life as an almost single-parent for the next month or so… and what you’ve got is a modern day miracle that the card house hasn’t fallen. Talk about bringing you out of a depression. Who has time for depression?
My energy to keep going is fueled by some even better f-words: faith, family, and friends.
My faith had to get bitterly honest as we struggled to make ends meet and hubby looked so hard for a job. As I’ve proven many times before, I had to get so broken to really be able to give control over to God. I’m not good at just handing it. I just have to become so tired and worn and almost mad that I finally just function so little that I’m giving control over by doing nothing. Really nothing. Sitting in a depressed funk. Finally telling God I’m not sure he’s reallyl listening and it’s getting just a tad hard to have the faith I’d like to have. Honest prayer. Hard, hard words to say out loud. Lots of tears. Then, when I’ve really released my death grip on the control, God swoops in(or really he doesn’t have to swoop, he’s was there all along) and takes the reins. Some may say my doubt was faith diminishing. I will argue any day that it’s these kinds of experiences that are faith building. God has once again taken care of us in so many ways, and so much more than we can imagine or deserve. You better believe I’ve got faith. I’m going to try just keeping the grip on the faith, and not so much on the control. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Friends, including you online pals, have prayed for us, loved us, supported us, and made sure the Houk ship didn’t sink. Through that friend network, Steve ended up with too many jobs at one point (how refreshing), and we ended up with what we’ve called the “Houkhouse Helper” to get us through working nights, early mornings, out of town trips, and the whole she-bang. The good news is I never had to look far. It’s kind of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – it was there all the time. We’ve found that when you really love and are really loved back and have a fundamental value that believes God’s people must help take care of each other, the possibilities are endless.
My family is my saving grace. This family we have created is the heart of the issue. It’s the core of what we do here on earth. It’s the number one priority and goal and all the rest has to cascade down from there. And preferrably, cascade down in a nice order with good attitudes and a do-able schedule, remembering all the while that God has given us the great big job of taking care of these wonderful creatures he let us give birth to and maintaining and nurturing the blessing and charge he gave us called a marriage. Big, big jobs. Important enough to keep the trash cans and vacuuming looking small and the overall mission looking large. That’s the way it should be.
My family has held me up most by doing nothing special other than sharing our lives together. Some of my favorite recent memories are ones I want to share:
- Brady wet the bed last night. I didn’t even feel like screaming. He actually was sleeping with Keely and he wet on her. Oops. Even she didn’t scream too loud or too long. When they got up at 3:30 am, I was just excited to see them. In a time of rushed schedules, I was thankful for a minute or two to see those little faces and be able to help. Everyone got cleaned, kept warm, and we climbed into a new bed to snuggle. Brady didn’t want to share me, but he settled for super-gluing himself to me, nose to nose, until he went back to sleep. I managed to sneak a hand out and Kee fell asleep holding my hand.
- Mar’s trying out for cheerleader. She’s growing up, and growing beautiful right before my eyes. While practicing tonight, two goofy little boys thought they would take their shirts off and then practice, too. Throw in the dog and you’ve got a three-ring circus in the front yard. The neighbors loved it. I laughed and smiled a lot.
- “Mommy, you ‘da best Mommy in the worwld.” All that for fixing grilled cheeses and a visit to the public library. Ahh, greatness.
- Two little boys together= ridiculous silliness. Uncontrollable giggling, about nothing. Just try being grumpy.
- Brady asked me to dance and the song was “Fergilicious” (I think). He didn’t want to just groove a little. He wanted me down by him, holding on to each other. I complied and showed some of my best moves. It turned into a family dance party. Mar was embarrassed, Keely impressed, and the boys – just silly snakes as always. For the record, this Momma can still dance – even though her 12 year old might beg to differ.
And many, many more reminders of how lucky and blessed we truly are. More to do now and more to share later.
